Failure has a bad reputation. The fear of failing can keep some people from even trying to succeed at all. I say that not only should you not fear failure, but that you should embrace it. When it comes to dating and trying to meet people, if you aren't failing very much, then you aren't trying enough. My goal is to show people that failing is not that big a deal.
I decided to do a mingle experiment to explore this concept.
Ask for phone numbers from interesting women that I meet during a given day, until I get turned down.
For seven days in a row.
*I have to ask women for numbers that I sincerely want to see again. No forcing it.
*I have to ask someone I just met or don't know. No using a "ringer" that I already know.
*I have to keep going until I fail once per day, no matter how many times I am successful.
*I have to ask until I fail for seven straight days.
Note: I will not be discussing any successful attempts that I have during this process. This study is about the failures...
As usual I will be risking my own reputation to help and entertain people. Enjoy...
(Day 1--High End Steak House)
There is a high end steak house that a friend and I wanted to go to, so I decided to check it out tonight.
I like high end restaurants because:
A) I love good food and
B) If I am in a mingling mood there is a better chance that the customers and staff there are out of college.
I am a few years out of college myself, so I have an (almost) unbreakable rule that I won't consider dating someone who isn't old enough to at least be out of college.
The waitress was friendly and nice so I chatted her up a little. Wait staff of course is paid to be nice to you, so it's always a good idea to be careful about reading too much into a good vibe in these situations.
I found out that she had been working there for a while (not too young) and that she was interested in selling real estate. Learned enough about her to know that I wouldn't mind talking to her again, so I decided to ask about seeing her again sometime.
There were a lot of people standing around my table because I was seated in the bar area and there was an exciting game going on. The crowd added to the pressure of asking, but I'll be darned if I am going to let the fear of being overheard stop me from doing what I want to do.
Here is how it went:
(She comes over to pick up the check) ME: So, do you live in (town we were in)?
HER: Yeah, I live in _________.
ME: Oh yeah? Well we might have to hang out sometime then.
HER: I'm actually here all the time.
At this point I did not say something like "Well give me your number anyway and we can just talk sometime" or "Let's try to find a time when you aren't working and hang out." Good grief. Some people who beg like that need to get a clue.
Persistence is usually not the best route when it comes to people you just met. That just gets annoying. This is a better strategy to use with someone who you know already. Even in that case you shouldn't do it often. Be wise enough to take "no" for an answer and move on. No big deal.
So there you have it. I was a victim of the classic waitstaff fake good vibe. It happens. Take your shot anyway if you are in a similar situation. Sometimes the vibe is actually sincere. Don't miss out.
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