(*New info in blue) So Apparently my list of 101 Mingle Tips has not solved all of the dating and social skills problems in the world. There are still a lot of lonely, poorly mannered, and socially uncomfortable people out there. So here I am. Back with more tips to help you improve your communication, dating, and social skills so you can have a better life.
I have decided to give updates and new information on each of my original 101 Tips For Social Success With Class (that I originally posted about a year ago).
You can find the updates in blue at the end of the original post at the bottom of this page. Happy mingling!
No messing around today. It's time to get real. If you really want to be serious about relating to members of the opposite sex in a healthy way, then you absolutely cannot be involved in looking at pornography. Period. There is no way around it. Pornography is not the harmless fun that some people think it is. It destroys relationships. It prevents healthy relationships from forming. If you are looking at porn, you are playing with fire. This brings me to my tip for today:
MINGLE TIP #43: DON'T. LOOK. AT. PORN
This is not the most comfortable topic to discuss, but I think it is important. I have said this before--If your mingle goals are all about finding someone to sleep with, then this is not the blog for you. There are plenty of websites for that. This site is for people who want to improve the way they relate to others in a civilized way--dating and otherwise. If this is your goal, then looking at pornography can be a major obstacle.
*In 56% of all divorce cases, at least one party had an obsessive interest in porn sites
*Internet users who had had an extramarital affair were 3.18 times more likely to have used online porn than Internet users who had not had an affair.
*At a 2003 meeting of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, two-thirds of the 350 divorce lawyers noted that the Internet was playing an increasing role in marital splits.
*Pornography makes you focus on yourself.
*Pornography affects your thinking, whether you realize it or not.
*Pornography gives you unrealistic expectations.
*Pornography makes you think of a person as a toy to be played with.
*Pornography makes you think of how you can use a people instead of how you can value them.
So, are all of your relationship problems going to be solved if you give up your porn habit? I doubt it. But, even if you just want to think from a purely statistical perspective, looking at pornography will at the very least decrease your odds of being the best date, boyfriend, or husband you could be.
Also, if you are a single person, don't make the mistake of thinking you can just stop the habit once you find someone. Go ahead and get your mind right now. You'll be glad you did.
Note: Pornography is not something that only affects men. Data shows that there is also a large number of women involved with it.
This topic wore me out! Next time I will get back to talking much lighter topics, I promise.
*Sources for statistics mentioned in this post: npr.com, huffington post, psychologytoday.com
UPDATE: (1) The best way to get over porn addiction addiction is to find someone to be accountable to. I have known a few people who have overcome porn addictions. They all talk about how difficult it was to break. They also talk about how much better their lives are now that they have broken the addiction. This is a big deal. Without exception, the way these people say that they broke their addiction was to tell someone, either publicly or privately. Accountability was the only way they could overcome it.
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