So Apparently my list of 101 Mingle Tips has not solved all of the dating and social skills problems in the world. There are still a lot of lonely, poorly mannered, and socially uncomfortable people out there. So here I am. Back with more tips for you, as I update my original posts. New information is below.
A lot of people can't wait to try to be impressive in social situations. They want to brag about how cool they are, show how funny they can be, and generally be a try-hard to try to win people over. This is the wrong approach.
MINGLE TIP #63: LISTEN MORE THAN YOU TALK
(1) One of the keys of good social skills is being able to focus on learning about what is interesting about the person you are talking to. You may have to force yourself to slow down and listen every now and then. It doesn't matter how awesome you are -- if all you do is talk about yourself then you will get boring fast.
(2) It is possible that you let a person talk and talk and don't really find anything interesting. It happens. You will get along with some people better than others. I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt, however. Some people take a little prying to get out of their shell. You might be surprised at how interesting and fun some of those quiet people are once they get a little encouragement.
(3) Be careful to not take this advice too far. You don't just want to ask the other person question after question like they are being interviewed, either. That can be really annoying. Ask a few questions, make a few points or tell a story or two yourself, and you will be on your way to having great social skills. This is not rocket science!
Note: Of course, mathematically speaking if both people in a conversation are trying to following this rule then it cannot be done! A 50/50 split of talking about yourself and listening to the other person would not be the worst thing in the world.
UPDATE: (4) Be careful about trying to solve everyone's problems. Sometimes people aren't interested in having you fix their lives, no matter how well you think you can do it. They just want you listen and empathize with what they are going through.
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