Mingle With Class -(Tip #65) Fish In The Right Pond With The Right Bait (and other dating tips) [UPDATE!]
(*New info in blue) I'm back. And you thought it would never happen...So, apparently my list of 101 Mingle Tips has not solved all of the dating and social skills problems that people are having in the world. There are still a lot of lonely, poorly mannered, and socially uncomfortable people out there. So here I am. Back with more tips to help you improve your communication, dating, and social skills so you can have a better life.
I have decided to give updates and new information on each of my original 101 Tips For Social Success With Class (that I originally posted about a year ago).
You can find the updates in blue at the bottom of the original post. As usual, please send me your questions and comments and let me know how I can help you. Happy mingling!
Sometimes finding a person to date can seem like an impossible task. All the good ones seem to be taken. If you are a single person and you find yourself thinking this way, I have some good news for you--there are things you can do to help your chances of finding someone. This brings me to my tip for today:
MINGLE TIP #65: FISH IN THE RIGHT POND WITH THE RIGHT BAIT
(1) The most important thing you can do if you want to date is to get serious about the process. Be intentional about it. If you just go through the motions every day without really trying, then you probably aren't going to get very good results.
(2) Once you have decided that you do want to find someone, the next step is deciding what kind of person you are looking for. Then, go to places where that type of person goes. This may seem like common sense, but a lot of people don't seem to think about it.
Years ago I met a girl at a dance club and got along well with her. We wound up hanging out for a long time that night and seemed to be hitting it off. I felt like I was at my mingling best--I was doing so well (I thought) that I should be videoing this interaction to teach other people how it was done. The only problem was that when I went to ask for her number, she said that she didn't want to give it to me because her father was a preacher and she didn't want to meet a guy at a bar. Hmmm.
Maybe she was just making up a story to be nice, who knows. That is not important. I was just hanging out. But, I learned a valuable lesson that night--if you are looking for a certain type of person, then don't go for the needle in a haystack approach. Go where they are.
If you are looking for a partying type, go to the bars or clubs. If you want someone who likes to read, hang out at book stores. If you want a lawyer or politician, go to the reptile section at the zoo (just kidding!). The idea here is to go where the kind of people are that you think you would like to date. Increase your odds of success. Then, once you get to these places, act like a person who belongs there. Be appropriate. If you are comfortable with yourself then you won't have to do any acting regardless of the situation.
Note: I am not saying that it is impossible to meet any kind of person any time or place. You may meet a NASCAR driver at the grocery store for all we know. My point is to give yourself the best chance for success possible and go where the odds are best.
UPDATE: (3) Don't get so caught up in finding the perfect location for meeting people that you overlook good ones who may be around you already. Being intentional is one thing, just don't ignore what is going on in your daily routine as well. You never know where you might run into someone great for you. You may be surprised.
(4) Don't spend too much time in places you don't like just trying to meet people. If you hate coffee, you may not want to go sit in Starbucks all day hoping to bump into your dream date. Maybe you prefer to go to the movies, or the rodeo, or the laundromat, or whatever. Just don't let yourself become so consumed with the dating process that you neglect doing other things you enjoy.
The best advice I ever heard about dating is to do the things you normally like to do and meet your potential dates there. Just be sure you are ready for action when the time comes that you actually do run into that great person. Read some of my other tips to get some advice about that, if you need to. You may not have much time to make something happen!
**Click here to ask a question about dating, social skills, or social comfort!
*Follow me on Twitter @TheMingleMaster
***Don't miss a post. Get free email updates below.
AS FEATURED ON: