So Apparently my list of 101 Mingle Tips has not solved all of the dating and social skills problems in the world. There are still a lot of lonely, poorly mannered, and socially uncomfortable people out there. So here I am. Back with more tips for you.
I have decided to give updates and new information on each of my original 101 Tips For Social Success With Class.
You can find the updates in blue italics at the end of the original post at the bottom of this page. Happy mingling!
I know people who refuse go out in public unless they have other people with them. They are afraid that it might look bad to be seen alone. This is a big mistake, and also not good for our social skills. This brings me to my tip for today:
Let's face it -- there are scary people everywhere. No matter where you go, at some point you will probably run into people who have either been in jail or who belong there. Maybe it is someone shopping next to you at the mall. Maybe it is the driver who cut you off in traffic on the way to work this morning. This is a reality of life.
Since there are so many scary people out there, you have a choice to make. You can either be scared of them and lock yourself in your room or you can not let the fear of them paralyze you. This brings me to my tip for today:
MINGLE TIP #66: DON'T BE AFRAID TO TALK TO STRANGERS
(1) There is nothing wrong with being safe and careful. I am not suggesting that you get reckless with this idea. It's probably not a good idea to go around picking up every hitchhiker with the hope that he may be your soul mate.
(2) Don't rule out the possibility of dating a stranger. Sure, dating someone you randomly meet is not the most common way of starting a relationship. A study in a Time magazine article claims that most couples are still meeting each other online, through friends, at church, at work, etc. This does not have to mean that those have to be the only ways you meet someone, however.
Plenty of happy couples in the history of the world have met because one of the people was brave enough to start up a conversation with a stranger.
(3) Leave yourself open to meeting someone new. Don't automatically put up a shield when a stranger makes a throwaway comment to you at the grocery store. Be open. Talk to people wherever you find yourself. If you find that you have a good connection with someone (or at least see a possibility), don't be afraid to set up a time to call, email, or meet again. Take it extremely slow if you want to. Just don't rule out the possibility.
Note: I understand that many people have had bad experiences dealing with scary people and may have even had a traumatic experience at some point. I realize that it may be harder for them to not be afraid of strangers. Like I said, there is nothing wrong with being safe and careful. Don't be stupid about it. Just don't feel like you have to automatically rule out someone just because you don't know them. Take a small risk and get to know someone new in a safe way.
UPDATE: Talking to strangers can help you with much more than just dating. When you are in the habit of talking to people wherever you go, you are sharing positive energy with the world. Even if you don't get a date, a friend, or a business partner out of it, at least you are still making connections with people. You don't have to feel pressure to talk to people forever if they aren't interested. You can usually tell really fast if someone wants to keep talking or not. No big deal. This is not about having deep conversations with every person you run into - just a quick comment here and there to see what happens.
This tip is especially good if you have trouble getting comfortable in social situations. Make the world your practice field. Get in the habit of saying a quick word to the person in line at the grocery store, when you are walking around your neighborhood, or wherever you find yourself. You may only share one sentence each between the two of you. Nothing wrong with that. Just remember that the more you talk to strangers, the more your social skills will improve.
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