Mingle With Class - (Tip #9) Try To Mingle With People Who Have A "Hang-Out" Mindset Themselves (and other social tips) [UPDATE!]
(*New info in blue) So Apparently my list of 101 Mingle Tips has not solved all of the dating and social skills problems in the world. There are still a lot of lonely, poorly mannered, and socially uncomfortable people out there. So here I am. Back with more tips to help you improve your communication, dating, and social skills so you can have a better life.
I have decided to give updates and new information on each of my original 101 Tips For Social Success With Class (that I originally posted about a year ago).
You can find the updates in blue at the end of the original post at the bottom of this page. As usual, please send me your questions and comments and let me know how I can help you. Happy mingling!
If you have been reading this blog at all, you know that my number one rule of good mingling is to have a casual, "hang out" mindset. Since this is the most attractive attitude that you could have yourself, it makes sense that you should also be looking for that same mindset in other people. That brings me to my tip for this week:
MINGLE TIP #9: TRY TO MINGLE WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE A "HANG-OUT" MINDSET THEMSELVES
People are just more fun to be around when they are comfortable with themselves. The ones who are uptight, cranky, fake, stuck up, gripey etc. are just not very attractive (no matter how good they may look). If your goal is to have a fun, enjoyable life, you probably should not be giving these types very much attention. Life is too short.
Here are some thoughts:
(1) Don't stay around if you realize that the person you are talking to has a negative, icy or disinterested vibe. Find a way to politely excuse yourself. Definitely don't do something to try to make them change their opinion of you. Who cares. Get out of there quickly. There is a good chance the next person will be better anyway.
(2) Don't get too caught up with trying to win someone over just because they look good. There are plenty of quality people out there. Good looks alone should not be enough to win your attention and/or affection. If good looks are all that a person has going for them, they definitely aren't worth the time.
(3) Don't try to convince someone to like you. Ugh. This is where a lot of people go wrong. They get their heart set on winning someone over, no matter what it takes. When it doesn't work, they just try harder. Instead of excusing themselves from the person's unpleasant company, they stick around hoping to melt the ice. Terrible. Have some respect for yourself. If it is clear that someone doesn't like you, get over it and move on.
Many people often mistakenly think that when they don't get along with someone that the problem is them, when it actually could be the other person. Or it could just be that the two of you don't connect. So look for and focus on the people who actually do like you and get along well with you, and let the cranky, rude, uptight ones hang out with their own kind. The rest of us aren't interested.
UPDATE: (4) Avoid people who are in the habit of making mountains out of molehills. We all know people who make a big deal out of things that really shouldn't be that important. Everything is an emergency to them. Everything is drama. So stressful! No thank you.
Who you choose to hang out with is ultimately up to you, of course. As for me, I prefer to spend time with people who I can relax around. I don't want to walk on egg shells wondering what thing might set them off or annoy them next.
The most important thing to remember when we are choosing who to spend time with is that we actually put some thought into it. Know what you want ahead of time. Unless there is some crazy situation where we are forced to spend time to spend with certain people in a group, we pretty much have the ability to choose who we hang out with. So think about what you like in people, and hang out with those kinds of people. Simple.
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