So Apparently my list of 101 Mingle Tips has not solved all of the dating and social skills problems in the world. There are still a lot of lonely, poorly mannered, and socially uncomfortable people out there. So here I am. Back with more tips for you, as I update my original posts. New information is below the original post.
Sometimes the most popular approach to something can be the worst thing we can do. The same goes for dating. This brings me to my tip for today:
MINGLE TIP #48: DON'T USE PICKUP LINES
For some reason, a lot of people think that having a great pickup line is essential to getting a date. They are always looking for the best one. Here are a few examples:
"Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got FINE written all over you."
"Your legs must be tired, because you've been running through my mind all night."
"You are so sweet, you could put Hershey's out of business."
While these lines may get a laugh, they probably aren't going to do you much good. Pickup lines may look cool in the movies, but they aren't very effective in real life. Here are some reasons to avoid them:
(1) When you use a pickup line, you show that you are trying to win her over from the beginning. Remember, the last thing we should do when talking to someone new is to try to be impressive. If you start the pattern of trying hard from the beginning, you will get stuck in the cycle of having to be impressive from then on. That is hard to keep up!
(2) When you use a pickup line, you are establishing yourself as someone who is going to try to be entertaining. This is a lot of work as well. What happens when the entertainment runs out?
(3) Pickup lines may make her uncomfortable. When you are talking to a new person, your goal should be to make things as comfortable and easy-going as possible. A pickup line is most likely not going to have the opposite effect.
(4) Pickup lines show that looks alone have you interested. Let's not be so easy, people! Nice looks may get your attention at first, but hopefully there has to be much more there than just looks before you start showing interest in someone.
(5) Pickup lines may be insulting. Do you really think that a woman with any intelligence is going to fall for tricks like this? As the saying goes, be sure that you are using the right kind of bait for the fish you are after.
So, do yourself a favor and don't worry about forcing your first comments with a silly pickup line. Get in that "just hanging out" attitude and just make a casual comment. See what happens. Just be ready to follow it up with normal conversation...
UPDATE: (6) Contrary to popular belief, having a great pickup line is not the key to getting dates. Thinking that a great pickup line is all you need to get a woman to like you is REALLY insulting to her intelligence. You are better off forgetting about all that. Just be casual, start a conversation without making a big deal out of it, and see there is a connection. That way, you can feel good about yourself no matter what happens.
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