So Apparently my list of 101 Mingle Tips has not solved all of the dating and social skills problems in the world. There are still a lot of lonely, poorly mannered, and socially uncomfortable people out there. So here I am. Back with more tips for you, as I update my original posts. New information is below the original post.
Most people would agree that confidence is very attractive. The problem comes when people try too hard to show how confident they are. That brings me to my tip for today:
MINGLE TIP #14: BE HUMBLE
This one is a little tricky. Trying to show confidence is like trying to hit a golf ball a long way--the harder you try, the worse you will do at it. Here are some thoughts:
(1) People who are trying too hard to look confident are easy to spot. They talk a lot about how great they are. They remind people about their accomplishments (big or small). They love to be right, and make it known when they are. They may even walk a little like they have an ankle injury. What they end up doing is making themselves look silly. The reason for this is because that kind of behavior broadcasts that you are trying way too hard to look good. (see my earlier post Don't be a try-hard)
(2) Being humble does not mean you lack confidence. It does not mean you are a pushover. It definitely does not mean that you put yourself down to try to make yourself look good (that is false humility).
According to the urban dictionary, being humble means that "a person may have accomplished a lot, or be a lot, but doesn't feel it is necessary to advertise or brag about it". Perfect.
(3) So how do we show confidence without looking like we are trying to show it? The best way to show confidence is to be comfortable with yourself. Have that "just hanging out attitude." People will pick up on it. Whatever you do, don't try to remind them.
UPDATE: (4) Self deprecation can be very charming if done the right way. Be careful with this one. Putting yourself down in a humorous or casual way can be tough to pull off. You definitely don't want to overdo do it, and you can't come across as being fake. But being honest about your weaknesses actually shows a lot more confidence than bragging about your strengths. Just be yourself. There is no need to try to win people over.
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