So Apparently my list of 101 Mingle Tips has not solved all of the dating and social skills problems in the world. There are still a lot of lonely, poorly mannered, and socially uncomfortable people out there. So here I am. Back with more tips for you, as I update my original posts. New information is below the original post.
Okay, so you want to be good at talking to strangers and getting a phone number if things go well. You may be looking for dating or just a new friend to hang out with. The question is how to go about it. That brings me to my tip for today:
MINGLE TIP #16: 3 STEPS TO A SUCCESSFUL APPROACH
Being willing to try is obviously an important part of being a successful mingler. Once you have that, all you need is a plan with a little structure and you will be a mingling machine. Here is my basic plan for a successful approach:
STEP 1) Break the communication barrier. A successful approach will not happen until somebody says something. Anything. It can be a simple greeting of "hello", or "how are you".....or it can be a throwaway observational comment, like "This line is taking forever" or "I can't believe that dog has 6 legs." The comment doesn't really matter much. The idea is simply to open the door to potential conversation.
STEP 2) Read the vibe. Once you have broken the communication barrier, you should pay attention to see how the other person responds. If she smiles and continues the conversation, then keep it going. The longer you can talk and read the vibe, the better. If she looks annoyed or scared, then leave it alone. Be ready to exit the process at any moment if it looks like your presence is not welcome. No big deal.
STEP 3) Try to get contact information. When you do you feel like you have a good vibe going, the time is right to try to get contact information. Do whatever seems most comfortable to try to get in touch with the person again--request a number, an email, a Facebook connection, whatever. And please please please don't get all caught up in trying to get phone numbers for sport. That game is for chumps.
This same process can actually be used when you are talking to people of the same gender, too. Remember, this process is not necessarily about getting a date, it can also be about just hanging out. If you are talking to some dude that you think might make a good buddy, the same process applies.
This is obviously not the only way to approach someone successfully. If you are having trouble with your approaching success, though, give this simple strategy a try.
UPDATE: The more I talk to people in social situations, the more I am convinced that it can be done with relatively little stress and little risk of looking bad. The more you focus on just looking for a good connection with people instead of trying to impress them, the better off you will be. Keep things casual and you will have a much better chance of keeping your class intact, regardless of the outcome.
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