So Apparently my list of 101 Mingle Tips has not solved all of the dating and social skills problems in the world. There are still a lot of lonely, poorly mannered, and socially uncomfortable people out there. So here I am. Back with more tips for you, as I update my original posts. New information is below the original post.
The fear of rejection keeps a lot of people from trying to date. They have either been rejected often in the past, or the fear of rejection freezes them before they even begin. This brings me to my tip for today:
MINGLE TIP #90: GUARANTEE THAT YOU WON'T GET REJECTED
I know what you may be thinking--"The only way I am going to be sure to not get rejected is to not try at all. Great advice, Mingle Coach. Thanks a lot." This is not true!
Here are some thoughts:
(1) The secret to avoiding rejection is to not let it be a possibility. When we have the mindset that we are only looking for a good connection then we take rejection out of the picture. All we are doing is finding connections or not. That is not a pass/fail situation. There is no more trying to win someone over. No more looking for someone to impress. You are simply gaining information.
(2) Not connecting with someone is not the same as getting rejected. If someone turns you down, you are simply finding out that the two of you don't connect. Thinking this way makes it much easier to handle when some person doesn't want to see you again. Consider it a favor. There is no need to waste time on someone who will never be a good match for you anyway.
(3) Eliminating the possibility of rejection allows you to relax, have fun, and casually interact with people. If someone doesn't connect well with you (or you don't like someone), don't think of it as a personal thing. It is just a simple lack of vibe. It is much easier to be relaxed and be yourself this way.
UPDATE: (4) If you don't try to get too bold too soon, being turned down early is not so dramatic. So many people fall in love (or lust) at first sight and get all crazy and forward from the beginning. This is almost always a huge mistake. You are doing yourself and the other person a disservice if you decide that you want them before you spend any time getting to know them first. Also, when you get out of control bold from the beginning, it shows that you really were just interested in the person's looks anyway. Taking it slow is the way to go.
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