So Apparently my list of 101 Mingle Tips has not solved all of the dating and social skills problems in the world. There are still a lot of lonely, poorly mannered, and socially uncomfortable people out there. So here I am. Back with more tips for you, as I update my original posts. New information is below the original post.
Having a casual mindset can have a lot of benefits. It will make it much easier for you to be relaxed, for instance. It will also generally allow you to be yourself. But, even with these things going on, you may still be in danger of looking uncomfortable. This brings me to my tip for today:
MINGLE TIP #98: SLOW DOWN
Don't mistake this tip to mean that you shouldn't be yourself. If you are a high energy person, you should project that energy. I am not talking about a complete personality change here. But, you might help your cause if you pay attention to slowing down a little. This is true in most social situations--being on a date, at a party, in a job interview, public speaking, etc. Slowing down can make you appear to be confident and keep you from looking nervous.
Here are some thoughts:
(1) Don't be in a hurry. Unless there is something serious going on, I generally try to avoid being in a big rush. Walk a little more slowly, talk a little more slowly, answer texts a little more slowly, etc. Being in a big hurry is a great way to show that you are trying to impress someone (this is bad, if you haven't been paying attention). Don't let yourself look like a try hard.
(2) Avoid fidgeting and continually touching yourself. Body language, body language, body language. I'm not suggesting that you freak out worrying about the appearance of every little thing you do, but it might be a good idea to be aware of how much fidgeting you are doing. Looking like a crack smoker is generally not the best image to project. This advice applies to just about every social situation you may find yourself in.
(3) Don't be in a big hurry to get serious. Some people are really good at hiding their craziness, jerkiness, bossiness, and/or general negative attitudes for a long time when they are dating. Wait them out before you get too involved if you can.
So, there you go. Try to avoid being so hyper about everything. Be cool. Good things will likely happen for you.
UPDATE: (4) Slowing down makes you look like you have your act together. There is just something about being in a hurry that makes you look like you are nervous, absentminded, or trying to please everyone. None of these qualities look good. When it comes to dating, most people aren't looking for the dazzling celebrity type. Don't underestimate the attractiveness of being under control and dependable.
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