Are you unhappy with the results you are getting in your dating, work or social life?
If things aren't going the way you would like, then chances are you aren't failing enough. Yes, I did say failing. This advice may sound backwards, but it is one of the keys to finding extreme success. A problem that a lot of people have is that they are afraid to make mistakes or be embarrassed. This has got to stop.
I'm not saying that you should go crazy and put your reputation or job at risk. Don't be stupid about this. But keep your eyes open for risks you can take that wouldn't be the end of the world if they didn't work out. Ask a stranger for a phone number. Make a suggestion to change something at work. Start something new. Reach for the stars.
Who cares if your business idea fails, or if you get turned down for a date, or if a similar disappointment happens to you? That's life. Don't let the fear of failure paralyze you. Many of the most successful people in the world failed many times over on the road to success. The people who are most successful don't worry about what might happen if things don't work out perfectly. They handle it. In fact, they often even embrace failure.
So, if you wish you could find a little more success in your life, get out and fail. Be daring. Take some risks. Accept the fact that everything may not work out how you hoped. Just be sure you don't sacrifice class and dignity in the process.
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There is no person in the world that everybody likes.
Some people may be more well liked than others, of course, but there isn't a person alive that hasn't rubbed at least one person the wrong way.
So, how do you use this information to your advantage? You realize before it happens that this is inevitable. There is no avoiding it. There will come a time when you won't be liked. So, when you meet some person that doesn't think you are the greatest ever, you don't have to feel bad or get depressed. You knew it was going to happen at some point anyway (maybe even many times).
If you are at a party and you don't have a great vibe with the person you are talking to, or if you can tell that they don't really like you, so what. Consider that to be information gained. You are now free to move on and talk to another person. No big deal.
Of course, the problem that a lot of people have is that they desperately want everyone to like them. So, when they find out that this isn't true with someone they meet, they feel like they have to try to win the person over. "Don't you know who I am?" They think. "I am sooo likable! Let me show you what a peppy, complimentary, and all around great person that I am so that you will change your mind about not liking me!"
Please. Stop making a fool of yourself. Accept the fact that some people just won't get long with you no matter what you do. And remember--this is true for everyone! So, be yourself and don't apologize. Embrace and get to know the people who do like you and leave the ones alone who don't. Problem solved.
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I am going to change a lot of lives and save some people a lot of grief and heartache today.
Giving and getting phone numbers from a person you just met has been going on since Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone. The same night that he invented it he probably went down to the local pub and tried to get a girl's digits.
Yes, getting contact information is important. The problem that many people have, though, is that they read way too much into the number getting and giving process. I am here to tell you to stop it. Save yourself the trouble. Unleash a much healthier and lower stress approach to dating.
Here are some thoughts:
(1) Some people get or give a number out just to avoid an awkward situation. This is being a child if you ask me, but many people do it. There is no interest whatsoever, just an attempt to avoid having to deal with being uncomfortable.
(2) Some people get phone numbers just for sport. These "phone players" never did intend to call you. Getting numbers is just a game/challenge to them. Don't take it personally.
(3) Sometimes circumstances changes. Maybe he got your number and then a few hours later got back with his girlfriend. You never know.
(4) Sometimes the vibe/connection is lost or forgotten. It happens. This is why I always recommend sending a short text on the same day you get the number, or very soon after at the very least.
(5) Never give out your number without also getting the other person's number too. This may be a long shot, but maybe the number got lost somehow. You can at least send a followup text just in case.
(6) Sometimes alcohol influenced the decision to get or give the number. Enough said.
What do we take from all of this? We realize that just because we got or gave out a number that there is no guarantee that anything will come of it. Far from it. So, the wise thing to do is to not care. Be completely unemotional about the situation. No big deal either way. Your chances for something good happening only occur if the number exchange actually leads to another call or interaction anyway.
So, don't get all excited and tell all your friends that you just got or gave a number! Don't set yourself up for disappointment. Hey, I hope every number you get or give turns into something wonderful. Just do yourself a favor and wait until you actually make another connection before you celebrate it. Your dating life and mental state will be so much better off.
Find me on Twitter @TheMingleMaster
Some people enjoy arguing and complaining.
These people will take the opposite side of any discussion just to have a reason to disagree. They complain about everything. It doesn't take much to get them into attack mode. Unless you just happen to enjoy negative people, or are one yourself, be very careful about dating this type of person.
"But she's hot!" I can hear you saying (or he's gorgeous). Or, he or she has some other great thing going on. I hear you. There are some things that you can get over. Maybe she is a Democrat and you are a Republican. Maybe she's a Duke fan. Maybe your ages or heights or weights are drastically different. All of these obstacles can be overcome. But not a complainer/arguer.
You may not always think this way, but if you are dating someone there is likely at least a chance that it could lead to marriage one day. Protect your future.
Try to figure out early on if the person you are thinking about dating is an arguer and/or complainer. Everyone has bad days and do these things every now and then. That is not what I'm talking about. If it looks like this is just a way of life for this person, though, run. Don't walk. Run.
I may have just saved you from years of misery.
Follow me on Twitter @TheMingleMaster
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