So Apparently my list of 101 Mingle Tips has not solved all of the dating and social skills problems in the world. There are still a lot of lonely, poorly mannered, and socially uncomfortable people out there. So here I am. Back with more tips for you. (*New info in blue italics)
I have decided to give updates and new information on each of my original 101 Tips For Social Success With Class.
You can find the updates in blue italics at the end of the original post at the bottom of this page. Happy mingling!
Anxiety and stress during social situations can be very frustrating. People may usually be very relaxed, smart, and fun in comfortable situations, but for some reason when strangers are around they tense up. This brings me to my tip for today:
MINGLE TIP #80: KEYS TO ELIMINATING SOCIAL ANXIETY
How much could you accomplish during social situations if worry, anxiety, and stress were eliminated from your thinking? If those things didn't exist you would have a much better chance of relaxing and being your true self. This is the key to social success.
I think that a lot of times when we are rejected it is not because we weren't worthy of approval, but because we weren't able to relax and be who we really are.
Here are some tips for freeing yourself from anxiety:
(1) Practice what makes you anxious. I'm not sure if practice makes perfect, but practice definitely builds comfort. If you have trouble public speaking, then find opportunities to get out and speak. If you have trouble talking to people one on one, then get out and find those opportunities. Don't fall into the trap of believing that you are stuck with your current social skills. These skills can be learned.
(2) Exercise/Eat healthy/Sleep. Watching your health is a great way to lower anxiety. A healthy body can go a long way toward keeping a healthy mind.
(3) Don't sweat the small stuff. Didn't get that date that you were after? Didn't get that job you wanted? Did you do something to embarrass yourself? It happens. Most things aren't THAT big a deal.
(4) Learn from your mistakes. We all mess up every now and then or do something embarrassing. Some mistakes are worse than others, but they will all quickly become a memory. Learn from your mistakes and move on.
(5) Pray. If you are the type to believe in a higher power, saying a prayer asking to free yourself from whatever is making you anxious or nervous can go a long way to getting your mind right.
No matter what your experience in social situations has been up to this point, you can always improve. Don't let your past hold you back. You might be amazed at the results.
UPDATE: (6) Refuse to live a life of fear. Life is too short to worry about things like embarrassment or even failure. As the saying goes, most of the things we worry about don't wind up happening anyway.
(7) Be willing to laugh at yourself. If you have enough confidence to laugh at yourself when you mess up, you effectively take power away from anyone else who might laugh at you.
There are entire books written about the topic of overcoming social anxiety. This is by no means a comprehensive list or complete study of it. If we can learn to focus on what is really important, though, nervousness about social situation will usually melt away.
*Don't forget to check out my other 100 essential mingle tips!
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