So Apparently my list of 101 Mingle Tips has not solved all of the dating and social skills problems in the world. There are still a lot of lonely, poorly mannered, and socially uncomfortable people out there. So here I am. Back with more tips for you, as I update my original posts. New information is below the original post.
One of the keys to classy dating is showing respect to people. Many of the "pickup" methods that you can read about these days don't take this idea into account. There are all kinds of tips out there to help you win someone over, sleep with you, etc. Those things are fine that is what you are interested in. The classy dater does not take a "win-at-all-costs" approach, though. This leads me to my tip for today:
MINGLE TIP #68: MAKE PEOPLE COMFORTABLE
If you want to be a successful and classy dater, then it is absolutely essential that you follow the "Three C's of Dating" -- Comfort. Comfort. Comfort.
I have already written about the importance of being comfortable yourself when it comes to dating and social situations. I believe it is the best way to be attractive (and unattractive if you aren't comfortable). If you really want to great, though, then you have to be aware of more than just your own comfort. You have to make other people around you comfortable as well. Here are some thoughts:
(1) Make the other person feel safe. If you want to be a classy dater, you must make the other person feel safe. Keep this in mind when you are talking to someone new. You never know if something may have happened in the past to make someone uncomfortable talking to strangers. Keep this in mind.
(2) Don't begin a conversation with a woman by complimenting her looks. This is what players do. Never ever never go up to a woman you don't know and say something like "You are so beautiful/hot/cute. I would love to go out with you." This makes you look like a desperate fool who is only after a woman because she looks good. Don't treat her like an object. Get a little conversation going and see where it goes. Not only will you save yourself from looking like a kiss-up, you will also avoid looking like a deranged stalker. There will be plenty of time to comment on her appearance later.
(3) Relax. Being uptight yourself also makes the people around you uncomfortable.
(4) Don't walk up behind people you are approaching. Walk directly toward them so they can see you coming. Surprise is not a good thing when you are talking to strangers.
(5) Cut it short if the other person seems extremely uncomfortable. An attempt to date someone should not be some relentless pursuit that never ends until you have victory. If a woman seems uncomfortable around you, cut your losses and get out of there. Everyone is not meant for everyone. Learn how to recognize when it's time to let it go. The idea should be to find a person that you connect with, not to try to force your "A-game" on someone until you win her over.
There you have it. Follow the "Three C's of Dating" and you will be on your way to being a classy dater. It is the only way to go.
UPDATE: Don't share everything a person does with you (good or bad). In the new social media age, many people seem to want to share everything they do with their romantic interests. So and so did this. So and so did that. It was so great. Or it was so terrible. Ugh. Just shut up already. Maybe this one depends on the age of the person in question, but it seems like too much sharing may become annoying for them (even if you are only sharing positive things). So, be careful about oversharing, or you may wind up making that person uncomfortable and running off someone who would be great for you.
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