So Apparently my list of 101 Mingle Tips has not solved all of the dating and social skills problems in the world. There are still a lot of lonely, poorly mannered, and socially uncomfortable people out there. So here I am. Back with more tips for you, as I update my original posts. New information is below the original post.
If I had to take a guess at the number one dating problem for people since the beginning of time, I would describe it like this--The ones you like don't like you back, and the ones you don't like do like you. I think most people can relate to this situation in some way or other. So the question is, how can you overcome this problem? This brings me to my tip for today:
MINGLE TIP #49:THINK OF EVERYONE YOU MEET AS HAVING NO CHANCE OF DATING YOU
This may sound like a strange approach, but it can work wonders. Before I get more into some solutions, here are some variations of the same problem:
*You have plenty of people showing interest in you when you are in a relationship, but when you are single, there is nobody to be found.
*Women in relationships always love you, but single ones rarely seem to.
*Women whom you think are way too young for you often fall for you, but others don't.
(1) What do all of these scenarios have in common? The common element in them is that you instantly told yourself that those people had no chance with you when you met. As a result, you were NOT trying to impress them. You were able to relax and be yourself. You could joke with them, kid them, etc., without fear of losing a romantic opportunity. In other words, the real (and best) you showed. This is where the solution to these problems is found.
(2) So how can we change these situations around so that we can be our most desirable selves when we actually do like someone? I have put a lot of thought into this problem, and I think I have come up with an answer--Automatically think of everyone you meet as having zero chance with you.
(3) We often push people away that we like because we try too hard to win them over. We have an instant attraction and we immediately go into "trying to impress" mode. This is a huge mistake. When you are trying to impress, it is hard to completely be yourself. So feel free to get to know them in a casual way if you want to, but leave it at that. The length of time that you give yourself to eventually change to thinking romantically is up to you.
Now, don't get me wrong--I am not talking about playing games or faking something that is not real. I am simply saying that you should actually believe that nobody has a chance to date you at first. That is the key to success.
(4) The solution is to try to use this mindset with everyone you meet and interact with. Then, as you get to know a person a little, you can later move from the "no chance" category to the "possible chance" category if you are inspired to do so. No more desperation. No more "try-hard" attitude. So, the next time you find yourself meeting someone that you want to ask out, remember this rule. Even if there is someone that you have known for a long time, you can still reset your attitude using this approach and give yourself a new chance.
UPDATE: (5) The biggest mistake that most people make in the dating process is deciding too quickly that they want to date someone. The faster you decide that you want to date a person, the more it means that looks alone are influencing you. Slow down your decision making process until you get to know someone better and your dating relationships will likely be much more successful.
*Follow me on Twitter @TheMingleMaster
***Don't miss a post. Get free email updates below.
AS FEATURED ON: