So Apparently my list of 101 Mingle Tips has not solved all of the dating and social skills problems in the world. There are still a lot of lonely, poorly mannered, and socially uncomfortable people out there. So here I am. Back with more tips for you, as I update my original posts. New information is below the original post.
As I discussed in an earlier post, being a try-hard is one of the worst things that you can do when it comes to social situations. My tip today is related to that advice:
MINGLE TIP #5: DON'T OVER COMPLIMENT
Here are some thoughts:
(1) Kissing up, being a try-hard, and acting like someone's "yes man" is not a good way to impress the person. Maybe this mistaken belief comes from watching too many movies, I don't know. In most cases, the way to make people like you is not to tell them how great they are, comment on their looks, and generally over compliment. That kind of behavior usually just causes the person getting the compliments to lose respect for you (unless they are just really gullible and not that bright).
(2) Over complimenting gives the impression that you are being fake. Nobody likes insincerity. Even if there actually are multiple things that you like about a person, tone it down a little! There is nothing wrong with a compliment or two up front if they are appropriate, but be careful not to overdo it. If you connect with the person, there will be plenty of time for more compliments later. Good grief.
(3) This tip applies to much more than just potential dating situations. Over complimenting probably won't be successful in casual social situations, either. Just be yourself. Have a "hang out" mindset, and if they like you, great! If not, don't feel like you should win them over by heaping on piles of sugar. It won't work.
UPDATE: (4) Over complimenting sets you up to have to keep doing it. Even if excessive complimenting did work, you would still have to keep it going. You have now established yourself as someone who showers compliments. As soon as you stop doing so, something will be appear to be off. Don't paint yourself into that corner.
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