So Apparently my list of 101 Mingle Tips has not solved all of the dating and social skills problems in the world. There are still a lot of lonely, poorly mannered, and socially uncomfortable people out there. So here I am. Back with more tips for you, as I update my original posts. New information is below the original post.
There are few things that are more unattractive than being desperate. It is impossible to hide. So, before you decide to start looking for a relationship, it's a good idea to be sure that you are happy without one first. Then and only then will you be ready to date (and be at your best). The best way to do this is to focus on being thankful for the good things in your life and not just feeling bad for being single. This brings me to my tip for today:
MINGLE TIP #72: BE THANKFUL WHEN YOU ARE SINGLE
Here are some reasons why you should be thankful (and not desperate) when you are thinking about finding a relationship:
(1) You will never be satisfied if you are desperate. If you have the mindset that you have to have a relationship to be complete or to be happy, then you will never be satisfied. Relationships aren't the end all be all solution to all of your problems, no matter how great they might be.
(2) The other person will eventually let you down. Nobody, no matter how great they are, can meet the need to be the answer to all of your problems.
(3) The other person will eventually become annoyed with you if you depend on them alone for happiness. Eventually, the other person will not be able to stand your dependence and the pressure that comes with that. Many a relationship that started well ended because of this problem.
(4) Being desperate will come through in everything you do. If you want to break just about every suggestion that I have written about up to this point, then be desperate. It will likely make you try-hard, try to be cute, fear rejection, over compliment, and on and on. Don't ruin your chances before you even begin by being desperate.
So, be thankful for everything that you have going for you. If you can add a relationship to that, then great. Until then, though, it's okay to keep your eyes open for one. Just don't get obsessed about it.
UPDATE: (5) Having a relationship should never be the top priority in your life. We will only be at our best in relationships if we were already having a great life when they started. When we focus on being fulfilled and serving others instead of worrying about finding "the one", our relationships have a much better chance of being great when they do happen.
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