So Apparently my list of 101 Mingle Tips has not solved all of the dating and social skills problems in the world. There are still a lot of lonely, poorly mannered, and socially uncomfortable people out there. So here I am. Back with more tips for you. (*New info in blue italics)
I have decided to give updates and new information on each of my original 101 Tips For Social Success With Class.
You can find the updates in italics at the end of the original post at the bottom of this page. Happy mingling!
A lot of men will automatically think there is no reason to even try to talk to a woman who is out with another man. They assume that they are dating and move on. This is a big mistake and brings me to my tip for today:
MINGLE TIP #82: DON'T ASSUME THAT EVERY COUPLE YOU SEE IS DATING
The reality, of course, is that every pair of men and women that you see out together are not in a relationship. Some may be friends. Some may be brother and sister. Some may be business associates. Do you really want to automatically rule out all of those possibilities? Here are some thoughts:
(1) Look for the jewelry. If she has a ring, then is is time to move on. Duh. People who pursue married people are slimeballs. I don't care how bad things may be between them.
(2) Start with a throwaway comment to both of them. Don't try to act like the guy isn't there. Talk to them both if possible and see how they react.
(3) If the woman gives you a positive response/vibe, it's okay to ask if they are together. Remember, be as casual as possible. This is even more important in these situations. Just be ready to give up and get out quickly if it turns out that they are a couple. Be ready to use your graceful exiting skills.
(4) Be prepared to deal with a grumpy boyfriend. If you are casual about this process then there is no reason for the boyfriend to get upset. On the rare chance that you do run into an insecure boyfriend, though, be prepared to brush him off. Let him be the tough guy in front of his girlfriend and move on.
(5) Don't be the type of person who tries to break people up. If it is clear that a couple is together, don't try to slip in there and break them apart. Shame on you.
I have seen plenty of men talk to women that I was out with to try to find out if they were single. It doesn't bother me (unless they persist even when they find out that she actually is with me). Be smart about how you go about it, but don't let the fact that a woman is out with another guy keep you from at least investigating.
UPDATE: (6) Don't fear an audience. If you actually do find out that a couple isn't dating, you still have to be prepared to do something about it. Don't be afraid to work your magic in front of the friend. Keep things casual, take your shot, and see what happens.
*Don't forget to check out my other 100 essential mingle tips!
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