Everyone probably knows some popular people who have incredible social skills. Sometimes we think that if only we could copy them, all of our problems would be all taken care of. Wrong. This brings me to my tip for today:
MINGLE TIP #85: DON'T TRY TO BE COOL
Trying to be cool is a big mistake. People can usually see right through it. "Coolness" is an elusive thing anyway. Isn't it strange that the harder we try hard to be cool the less cool we are? Here are some thoughts:
(1) Trying to look cool often has the reverse effect. Attempts to look cool may make you walk funny, talk funny, dress funny, and generally look like a try hard. Oops.
(2) Don't try to copy other people too much. Trying to be like someone else that looks cool rarely works. Not only is this hard to keep up, it also can make you appear fake. If you think James Bond is the coolest guy ever, it may be okay to copy a few of his coolest moves. Just don't try to become him. Have some respect for yourself. If you are pursuing a relationship, the real you is going to come out eventually anyway.
(3) If we shouldn't try to be cool, then what should we do? The "just be yourself" advice may sound lame, but there actually is some truth in it. Being comfortable with who you are is usually very attractive. Some people will like you, some won't. That's life. At least you will know that you were being real. Accept this fact and you will be better off than most.
UPDATE: (4) The key to showing confidence is to be calm in all situations. Don't make the mistake of thinking "coolness" means being super swaggery. The coolest people are the calmest people.
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