So Apparently my list of 101 Mingle Tips has not solved all of the dating and social skills problems in the world. There are still a lot of lonely, poorly mannered, and socially uncomfortable people out there. So here I am. Back with more tips for you. (*New info in blue)
I have decided to give updates and new information on each of my original 101 Tips For Social Success With Class.
You can find the updates in blue at the end of the original post at the bottom of this page. Happy mingling!
Look at any expert advice about social skills and you will almost always find one thing included every time--the need for confidence. "Confidence is very sexy" as the old aftershave commercial claims. You have to be very careful how you use this advice, however. This brings me to my tip for today:
MINGLE TIP #28: HAVE A LITTLE SWAGGER
Here are some thoughts:
(1) Notice that I said have a "little" swagger. You definitely don't want to overdo your display of confidence. Too much can be worse than none at all. There is a thin line between being confident, cocky, and just plain silly. The trick is to believe in yourself and be comfortable, but not to try too hard to look that way. You don't want to be so confident that it looks like you think you are better than everyone else. Swagger is good, but keep it light.
(2) Pretending to be confident is okay (under one condition). I have heard a lot of social skills experts give advice to "fake it till you make it" when it comes to confidence. I agree with this advice under one condition--don't overdo it. If you feel like you don't have much confidence, there is nothing wrong with faking a little. Just don't go overboard with it.
(3) Don't put other people down to try to make yourself look good. If you feel like you have to put others down to help your own reputation, then you have gone too far. This is when you have crossed over from confident to cocky. At that point you are just being a jerk.
(4) Don't brag. There are few things more annoying in a social setting than someone who insists on talking about how great they are or about the great things they have done. Nobody cares. Not only are you being boring, but you look silly. Stop it! Let your actions speak for themselves.
UPDATE: (5) Don't be intimidated by ANYONE. Having swagger doesn't mean that you think you are better than other people. It just means that you don't think you are worse than other people. So don't be intimidated by someone just because they have looks, position, power, or whatever else. Who are they that you should put them on a pedestal? Have respect for yourself. Value yourself. See everyone as an equal. Keep that swagger.
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