Most people are good in some social situations but not so good in others. Some may be good at public speaking, but terrible at parties. Other people may be great in both of those settings but terrible in job interviews. If you find yourself with a certain social weakness, there is good news -- I have an answer that will cover all of them. This brings me to my tip for today:
MINGLE TIP #69: OWN THE ROOM
Owning the room means that you are the most confident, calm, and comfortable person there. You act and feel like you own the place. You are like the host of a party, the center of attention. Believe it or not, it is possible to reach this mindset in every social situation you might find yourself in. There may be a party full of 1000s of people. You may be having a one on one job interview. You may be alone with your date. The situation does not matter.
Here are some thoughts:
(1) Owning the room is a mindset. Sometimes you may have to pretend like you own the room even if you don't believe it. This does not mean that you should go around acting like a jerk or trying too hard. You are simply the person everyone wants to talk to. Pretend like this is the case enough times and eventually you will believe it. That's all that matters.
(2) Owning the room means that nothing ruffles your feathers. Is someone rude to you? Does somebody ignore you or brush you off? That's a shame. They must have a problem, because there is definitely not a problem with you.
(3) Owning the room means that you are positive. People who own the room don't go around complaining about everything. They have a positive outlook, even when things aren't going well.
(4) Owning the room means that you don't worry about what people think of you. Do what you do and don't apologize. Relax and be yourself. Be goofy if you are goofy. Be serious if you are the serious type. Do whatever makes you the most comfortable. If they like you, great. If not, time to move on. No big deal either way.
(5) Owning the room means that you don't think ANYONE is better than you. I don't care if you are with the best looking, richest, or most powerful person in the world. I don't care if you are in a room with the president of the United States. He may have a better job than you do, but he's not better than you. Don't be intimidated by anyone. Now, I am not talking about being cocky and thinking you are better than people. That's different. You simply just don't view anyone as being above you. This is a huge key to achieving comfort and confidence.
Test the mindset of owning the room out the next time you are in a stressful social situation. It can work wonders.
UPDATE: (6) Owning the room means that people think you are someone important. When you are in the room owning mindset, it is obvious. People may think you are the host of the party, or someone else important. You don't have to go over the top and act like you are better than other people, just be comfortable with who you are and people will notice.
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